Interrupting the Cycle of Chronic Pain
by Darlene Lancer
If you suffer from chronic pain, you are not alone. Millions
of Americans seek treatment for chronic pain, pain that continues for more than six months. Chronic pain is no longer viewed
as a symptom, but as an illness in itself. Things we take for granted, such as eating, sleeping, dressing, walking, laughing,
working, socializing, and independence may be lost to a person with chronic pain. Frequently, no physical cause can be established,
or the initial injury has long since healed, but the pain persists, and generally worsens over time. Nonetheless, each person’s
pain is both real and unique.
It is important that the person is believed, but some doctors do not take the person’s
physical complaints seriously, and blame their treatment failures on the patient. An occasional headache, stomach ache, or
muscle spasm may occur in reaction to a stressful situation, but the symptom usually resolves quickly, sometimes just from
the doctor’s reassurance that there is nothing seriously wrong. But when pain persists, more often the emotions are
a reaction to the physical pain, rather than the reverse.
The cycle of pain involves the physical body and the mental/emotional
body - symptoms of each reinforce the other. The body and mind experience injury and pain as a threat, sending the sympathetic
nervous system into a fight or flight response involving electrical and chemical changes that alter heart rate, blood pressure,
respiration, body temperature, and muscle tension. Pain signals to immobilize the affected area. The body tightens, breath
shortens, and a “whole” mental/physical reaction sets in. Accompanying emotions, ranging from mild concern to
extreme fear - fear of pain, disability, loss of function, or even death - exacerbate the pain.
So the person seeks
medical attention, receives hope, medication and/or treatment, and usually improves. If pain recurs, the patient rests, but
fear returns, along with anxiety, guilt, and anger. If the pain is not relieved, or only temporarily abated, there is greater
alarm, setting up a negative feedback loop, perpetuating emotional reactivity.
Certain personality types experience
chronic pain as especially difficult. For those who see themselves as strong and invulnerable, their entire self-image is
threatened. Pleasers and those who have been abused, tend to externalize power and react to pain passively. Their feelings
of helplessness and victimization paralyze their ability to help themselves and seek effective professional care. They may
give up easily if their doctor has no solution or blames them for their pain.
At the other extreme are those who typically
blame themselves. Guilt is a very common reaction. Interviews with many amputee Israel soldiers revealed that nearly all blamed
themselves for their injury, thinking “if only I had . . . (behaved differently),” despite the fact that the enemy
was clearly responsible. (Wall, 2000) Perfectionists and over-achievers fall into this category. They think in all or nothing
terms, and feel like failures when they are not productive or at their best. (Swanson, 1999)
In time, there may again
be improvement and more activity. Usually, the person is overactive to make up for lost time, followed by another flare up.
Now, s/he becomes increasingly focused on the pain and fearful of physical activity, instinctively guarding the affected part
of the body, and alert to anything that might trigger another episode of pain. When the pain doesn’t relent, a stage
of constant anxiety sets in. This state of hyper-vigilance contracts not only the mind, but also the body, which increases
the pain. In some cases, just thinking about and describing the pain increase muscle tension. Restorative sleep, the body’s
PH, blood flow, hormones and brain chemicals are negatively affected, compromising the body’s ability to regulate homeostasis
and pain. Eventually, the person’s mind, body and entire life contract, making relaxation and healing nearly impossible.
This is why early intervention to reduce pain and anxiety is vital in order to interrupt the cycle and to avoid long term
chronicity and debilitation.
Without relief, muscles lose tone and posture is altered in the person’s attempt
to avoid pain, contributing to muscle spasm, weakness, imbalance and shortening. The pain begins to spread, as the myofascial
sheath tightens around regions of the body, restricting movement and sending pain from head to toe. Over time, muscles atrophy,
bone deteriorates, and the immune system weakens, making the body vulnerable to disease.
A once active person becomes
caught in a downward spiral of depression, is now lonely and withdrawn from a normal social life, and may have even become
chemically dependent as well. The emotional and physical strain, and the loss of confidence, work, and social contacts result
in low self-esteem, grief and hopelessness, which magnify the perception of pain.
often search unsuccessfully for doctors who can alleviate their misery, while simultaneously are distrustful and phobic of
pain and change. Unconsciously, they may be seeking confirmation that no one can help. By this time, the person presents as
someone needing psychological help. When no physical cause can be established, the doctor may assume that the cause is emotional,
reinforcing hopelessness and distrust.
So how can one be extricated from this morass? A comprehensive plan addressing
physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs is required. Medication alone can be detrimental, because it builds dependency
on the drug and doctor, without support and encouragement for the person to become actively engaged in learning skills to
understand and reduce their pain and live a fuller life. The first essential ingredient is a support system. The caregivers’
personality and ability to generate a safe environment are just as important as their professional experience. Today there
are numerous allopathic and alternative treatment modalities available, but many may provide only temporary relief or none
at all. Only the patient can assess whether a treatment is both suitable and effective. Commitment to treatment may be difficult,
particularly when there are pain flare-ups, which undermine confidence in the caregiver. The person may want to withdraw from
treatment or even blame the doctor or therapist for the recurrence. These flare-ups should be normalized as an inevitable
part of the healing process, particularly when the person’s activities begin to increase. It may not mean that progress
is being compromised. The person must take an active role in determining what works and what doesn’t, both in terms
of treatment and his or her own activities. Through journaling and discussion s/he can be helped to sort this out. A corollary
principal is learning to focus on what is possible, rather than on what is not, without denying ones limitations, and doing
too much. As the person participates in his or her recovery, s/he regains a greater sense of control, and feelings of helplessness
and depression diminish.
Finding pleasurable activities is very important. Small steps, such as listening to music,
arranging flowers, helping someone else, or enjoying a special food, movie, or book serve as a distraction from pain, and
gradually lift self-esteem and mood, which further reduces pain. Creative activities that
stimulate the intuitive “feminine” or “yin” side of the psyche are particularly relaxing and healing.
Carl Jung strongly believed in the healing power of creativity.
Pleasurable and soothing sensations, such as gentle
massage, holding, rocking, and stroking, activate the body’s own
healing mechanisms, and remind and reassure the body that it is safe to relax, the way a horse whisperer tames a wild horse.
This begins to break the cycle of anxiety and create a safe internal healing environment. Relaxation techniques, including
breathing, sounding, biofeedback, hypnosis, and visualization are all useful in calming the body/mind. Of course, good nutrition
and adequate sleep are essential.
It’s vitally important to understand and express feelings, ideally in individual
psychotherapy as well as in a group. People who have been isolated need individual support to “en-courage” them
to re-enter the world and reach out to others. Then they can benefit from group interaction. Cognitive-behavioral changes,
along with improved communication skills, build self-esteem and reduce emotional reactivity in interpersonal relationships.
As the person becomes more hopeful and assertive, s/he experiences less pain and is better able to find and benefit from effective
Increased social activities and a daily exercise regime build endurance, strength and flexibility. Some
individuals may need assistance in organizing their day to increase functioning. For example, they may require an afternoon
nap or help driving or shopping. As the person’s mood normalizes and pain lessens, s/he can eliminate unnecessary medications.
Even if some pain continues, the person needn’t suffer, and can learn to lead a fuller, more rewarding life.
challenge may seem daunting, but these goals are attainable over time.
* * *Bresler,
David E., Free Yourself from Pain (1979)
Swanson, MD, David W., ed., Mayo Clinic on Chronic Pain, 1999
D, Pain, The Science of Suffering (2000)p. 6
Copyright, Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT, 2001
Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Monica,
with a broad experience, working with individuals and couples for more than twenty years. (See Darlenelancer.com) Her focus
is relationships and career goals, helping clients lead fuller lives.
Her training includes psychoanalytic psychotherapy,
family systems, cognitive-behavioral, dream analysis, gestalt, and hypnotherapy. She has taught meditation and yoga, and is
a Stress Management specialist, trained in techniques to reduce stress, trauma, and pain.
Formerly an attorney in the
corporate and private sectors for 18 years, she's familiar with career challenges and transitions. She's worked extensively
in the field of addiction and co-dependency at numerous hospitals and treatment facilities. Helping substance abusers and
their families find recovery has been a rewarding part of her practice. She's familiar with 12-Step Programs, but has a client-centered
philosophy, encouraging each person to determine his or her own abstinence and treatment goals.
Both in private practice
and as a Senior Mediator in Los Angeles Superior Court, she mediated Divorce and Child Custody and Visitation Disputes.
Living With Chronic Pain
by Richard Raubolt Ph.D.
Living with chronic pain is draining, disturbing, frightening,
debilitating and terribly disruptive. Sometimes the injury or ailment is visible like the results of a severe automobile accident
or stroke. Frequently there is no apparent "cause" as the pain results from stenosis, immune disorders or fibromyalgia.
or unseen symptoms are often deceiving. We can see symptoms but we can’t see pain. Oh, we can catch glimpses like a
wince or more dramatically a sudden collapse. But we can’t see inside the body to measure, know or really appreciate
what the pain feels like to someone else. Does it cut like a dull, rusty knife? Throb like the sounds of a beginning drum
student? Does it come and go like some mysterious, sadistic phantom? Or is it like both all of these and none of them at the
Frequently what we have to rely on are the descriptions by the patient/person. Words. Words express what
is felt so individually and uniquely. These words can reveal or hide a great deal. They can be a cry for help, relief or for
attention. They can exaggerate or minimize the pain or at different times under different circumstances they can do either
With chronic pain all areas of a person’s life can be drastically affected: emotions, physical movement,
thinking such as attention and concentration and activities. Sometimes even the capacity to love or believe in a future or
in God are compromised or missing. Then there are the financial uncertainties about health care, savings or even the basic
ability to earn an income.
What I have come to realize is that chronic pain can also create relationship problems with
loved ones be they children, parents, friends or especially spouses/partners. Young children, for example, can miss out on
normal activities when a parent is in pain and can’t participate. Children can also become protective and anxious leading
them to curtail their lives by staying close to home to the point of not developing friendships or even attending or having
problems learning in school.
Friends can express concern and make themselves available but usually only to a point.
They move on with their lives and activities, often forgetting about a friend in pain. The person in pain is inadvertently
dropped from the circle of friends who are vibrant and active. Life goes on.
Parents of adult children can feel guilty
that their son or daughter has such pain and no amount of nurturing or guidance can make it go away. Some often wonder why
their children and not themselves are stricken and as a result may become overly involved in an attempt to manage their own
guilt and sense of failure.
The most difficult, confusing and disruptive problems, however, most often occur in marital/partner
relationships. For the "healthy" one there is often an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, sadness and loss. The nature
of the relationship can change as favored activities and plans have to be abandoned and worry about the future can set in
with a vengeance: "What will we become?" Patience can run dry and spouses can say hurtful, angry words that deepen the anxiety
and despair. Couples may need help in offering a "safety net of love" for each other.
There are very effective medications
to relieve pain or at least some of it, there are non-traditional approaches such as acupuncture, yoga and massage that can also be wonderfully helpful and relaxing. To this list
I would add psychotherapy where couples can talk honestly and openly about their individual feelings and experiences and where
words can begin to heal the pain in the relationship if not the body.
Richard Raubolt Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist with 25 years of experience
in treating trauma, anxiety disorders, depression and former cult members. He has written two books: Power Games Influence,
Persuasion and Indoctrination in Psychotherapy Training (13th Annual Gradiva Award Nominee and 2006 Goethe Award Finalist)
and Theaters of Trauma: Dialogues for Healing (due out in June 2008). He have published over 35 articles and professional
papers. Dr. Raubolt serves on the Board of Directors and Executive Committee of the International Federation for Psychoanalytic
Education. His web site is www.RichardRaubolt.com.